Archive for the ‘Motherhood’ Category

Penelope Spheeris (Wayne’s World etc.. see link) produced a little indie film starring Flea (red Hot Chili Peppers- you know him!!!) called Suburbia (1984).This movie was among my favorites, I felt at that tender age, I could really grasp the full tilt of nihilism, disenfranchisement, solipsism, anarchy, and anything else that felt slightly anti-establishment. My favorite song for that summer was Big Black’s Kerosene (1985).

There is an embarrassing story, from many summers ago, about this time, my family & I went up to the ‘burbs’ so far away from my little punk rock middle class life, I was wearing clothes put together with safety pins and dunked into the pool, by a bratty friend of my younger sister. There I was seething, half naked, my clothes sliding off of me, the men looked mortified, mostly my father…

I drove and drove around the endless cul-de-sacs, dead end roads, no people, no souls, the feint smell of charcoal briquettes being lit in the distance, and the damp pallor of those who had thrown in the towel, the ones who wanted out, content to just rot in their rows of houses, being consumed by the endless whir of cicadas, the mindless chirps of crickets, the excitement of one yellow butterfly wavering.

So now here we are, a diaspora of 3, making our way out to suburbia. Will you zoom your camera lens into my lawn, just to find a grisly ransom, a single, human ear covered with ants? (D. Lynch, Blue Velvet, 1986) Or will you find us embracing the soft caress of aging summer winds and well-tended lawns, because we are no longer young, and eventually we must release the most existential of angsts?

Who knows. I have a shit-load of wall paper to steam off.

Blowing The Roof Off (Kaer Trouz ft mr robot & stomacheache)

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I have babies too. Just like Kristin, from Throwing Muses, some scattered in the heavens, one boy here on earth, and he has something in common with her, a struggle that shall remain unnamed, you can hear it in her words, her voice, which has deepened and become more grave over the years. In him, you can feel it, eyes darken, a puncturing of the soul, deflated hearts abound.

I try to keep this blog limited to music, I feel, yes if you listen closely, you can glean all the personal information you want from the music. But I will not spoon feed it to you.

Kristin (and if you are unfamiliar with the Throwing Muses, you are either too young or too dumb (sorry so sorry) and her band were a staple of mine in the early years (1985-1991), she and her tiny step-sister Tanya Donelly (later of Belly) throwing down difficult, disharmonic, hard and complicated rock in times when the likes of of Eddy Vedder and Chris Cornell were bleating out macho, well-contrived, less difficult stuff.

I threw my singing ego away to create this– it is mainly Kristin and I backed her up a bit (the beauty of remixing- you can if you dare). She probably never wanted hip hop drums behind her but I heard a horse galloping there and wanted that percussion Here ’tis—

Morning Birds (Nearly Mute Trouz Mix ft Kristin Hersh & Jovica)

On another note, I was able to lay down two vocals for yet another RPM Challenge Project, the one created at Ccmixter, a hodge podge of weirdo musicians. I got an email on February 20th, that read like this:

Hello there. I represent a group of musicians, producers, vocalists and
other troubadour-types from CCMixter who have decided to enter into
the 2008 RPM Challenge. You know the principle behind said challenge, I
assume.

We are currently (urgently) seeking a vocalist/lyricist, and I was told
by forces from on high that you were a skilled singer and a fast
writer. Both of which we need.

If you could spare the time from working on your own project for the
challenge, I would be very grateful if you would do us the honor of
lending us your voice.

I said of course. The two tracks that emerged were pretty cool, one in a 6/8 time signature that shifted into 5/8 and another that was sort of trance and chill. I loved the remix of Blind Date, by DJ Rkod, but I preferred my own remix of When I Close My Eyes. You can find all the collaboration/attribution files here .

When I Close My Eyes (Kaer Trouz Mix- Not The Final Mix)

Blind Date

Lastly, a photo of me and my earth boy, 12.5 years ago, in a tender moment.

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